


Memories

by xHaruka17x



Series: SPN Dean Bingo [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Cyborg Dean, M/M, Memories Violation, Past Lovers, Scientist Castiel, War World, memories erased
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:48:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23517196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xHaruka17x/pseuds/xHaruka17x
Summary: Dean awakens in his incubator and contemplates what's going on with him.SPN Dean Bingo Challenge EntrySquare Filled: Free Space
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: SPN Dean Bingo [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1428706
Comments: 13
Kudos: 68





	Memories

**Author's Note:**

> A very huge thank you to Diminuel for the amazing art work!!!!  
> Check out her page! http://diminuel.tumblr.com/

  
  
There’s an internal hiss as his circuits come back online, and his motherboard goes through its typical assessments of his mechanical inhibitors before awakening the sensory parts of his biological brain to start feeling his limbs. While eighty five percent of his body was still very much composed of human bones, muscles and flesh, the nanobots that worked like ants worked to protect the still beating human heart and his brain functions. The ten percent that consisted of his cybernetic ‘parts’ were the added-on upgrade to his body. The only outer physical indicator that he was a Cyborg was his left eye. Gone was his eye and socket and replaced with a cyber-analyzer that in seconds evaluated and calculated immediate risks and situations.  
  
He was back to fully operational; however, he wasn’t in a hurry to move or alert anyone he was actually ‘awake’. He knew instinctively he was in the lab again. The distinctive scents of disinfectant were ever predominant. Various pharmaceuticals tints added to the stale and stoic scents that were heavily accompanied by the oil and grease smell of components, metals, and electronics themselves. He knew the room was cold. The white coats always kept the temperature low. It had been a long time since he had felt cold or heat himself. So long since he had physically felt anything beside the impact of whatever combat he would be thrown out into that hit him, or his body absorbed the hit.  
  
The distant sound of something being slammed down in the other room makes his hyper hearing zoom in automatically, ignoring the on-goings of the white coats in the room typing furiously at their computers. He knows if he opens his eye and the data/visual monitor, there will be the viewed glass across from him where he is standing in the incubator that updates and repairs him. He knows he will see _him_ in that other room.  
  
_“He hasn’t shown any signs of them returning. I don’t see a point in wasting time in doing pointless tests when he is needed on the provision ASAP,"_ he heard _him_ say.  
  
He knows by now that every time he has awakened in this room, in this incubator, it was because of the ‘memories’ he isn’t supposed to still have. Nanobots ruled his intellect and heart, and memories are not supposed to be for a cyborg, especially a soldier one. They were meant to be blank slates that only followed orders, and he did follow orders. Yet there was this one single defect with him. He did remember and see memories in his consciousness, and it scared the white coats. That part of his brain is meant to be erased and they have tried, many times to erase as they probed and programmed and inserted firewalls and safety measures…but somehow those memories always found ways to stay and return to him. Like a missing limb that one could still feel, they were there.  
  
He knew now, however, not to act on them like he had in the past. Every time, it had made the beautiful blue eyed man in the white coat look as if he was going to break down. Every time, he saw in those sky blue eyes how the man’s heart broke when he remembered something, and stated as such. Those memories told him about his own past, which cyborgs weren’t supposed to have. That past showed him that the war ridden world they resided in now was once lush with green pastures with the sounds of music and laughter… and love that included the blue eyed white coat. In those memories, his own name was Dean, and the blue eyed man was Cas. They were lovers until the war happened.  
  
Dean couldn’t remember what happened. He didn’t know how he ended up as a Cyborg, nor the chaos of the world that was only fire and death now. However, those memories told Dean that he once was loved, and had loved, and after the white coats half tried to remove those precious memories, he stopped stating them when he did see a memory. He stopped after the third time he had witnessed those blue eyes filled with devastation; when his data assessors alerted him to a possible nearby threat. It was hurting his past lover, and Cyborg or not, it pained him even though he couldn’t feel it.  
  
He heard the sliding door, and he opened his eye and data/visual monitor to find Cas standing before him with his white coat on, a tablet in his hand and four other lab coats around him. Cas stands up on the platform, a mere foot from him with a tired expression and sleep deprived, glazed over blue eyes.  
  
“Solder W137, how do you feel?” Cas asked, with a flicker of a smile that showed nothing but sadness. Dean knows that if he wants to keep his memories and to save this human from pain that his human self once loved dearly, he must play his part. Even though he knows this is the right thing to do, his date and cybernetic processors keep him from truly understanding the depths of his decisions, which only confuse him.  
  
“Soldier W137 ready for assignment,” he replied dutifully, as he kept his eye straight and focused with his data/visual monitor running over Cas’s form, investigating and assessing any damage or threat.  
  
Cas looks down, sadness etched into the whole of him, letting Dean’s analytic processors know he’s far from a threat and instead an emotional puzzle he doesn’t have the capacity to understand. Somehow, it makes Dean’s heart ache. A flash of a memory where Cas is smiling and happy hits him almost like a physical blow, but he manages to keep his body from reacting, not wanting to give it away…not again, when the next time, he might truly never see those memories.  
  
“Good. You are to report to dock three and get your orders from Sergeant Ketch. You are needed for battle.”  
  
“Understood.”  
  
  


Cas lingers in front of him as the other white coats make themselves busy with other things. Dean stays still as those blue eyes look over the whole of him, seeming to need to see their fill as tears threaten to fill them.

“Dismissed,” Cas says, as the machine's hands release Dean from the incubator. The scientist steps out of Dean’s way as he steps down. In the blink of an eye, Dean curls his pinky finger around Cas’s, and then just as quickly walks away, feeling the smile behind him as he leaves the lab.

**End**


End file.
